I woke up to a really drunk sky that day. It was looking like those doped chimpanzees that they show in scarey science fiction movies where the doctor accidentally lets a mutated 8 feet animal loose. Loose enough to kill the scientist first. Mad enough to decimate everyone within 100 miles of its reach later. It was fitting that the last image I will have of the beautiful morning blue sky is that of darkness . It seemed to reflect the pain and suffering I have been through over these last few months .Five months to be precise. My wife was sleeping happily in her bed like she always does, innocently oblivious to the problems that was wide awake between the two of us. The woes were far and few initially, but it has become more of a tangible structure now . One that requires immense effort to be broken down. Both me and my wife could hardly afford such time, for time was a precious commodity that could only be wasted on useless melodramatic TV serials and cricket matches. I didn’t want to disturb her , I got up brushed my teeth and performed the other mundane activities without making much of a clutter in the house. The previous night had been peaceful. We didn’t fight and it was that I wanted her to remember me with. Not the perpetually angry, useless son of a bitch husband who could do nothing but scream on top of his lungs. Thankfully, we didn’t have kids. Kids just create ruckus and make the house a living nightmare.Yes, they are cute, sweet and their cheeks are pullable, but when they grow, they become mean. Mean with a capital M. Mean machines and monsters who become a by product of the environment they are brought up in. Given that me and my wife shared a rapport that would put David and Goliath to shame, we decided that we will put aside and I am quoting her now ” Complicated and unnecessary things such as sex ” . I am an educated man and I have been patrolling the streets of Chennai , thanks to the education scene which makes even 95 percentagers look like seals. In such a brutal world , what will become of a 45 percentager? Eight years of unemployment of course. After eight years five months and three days I landed a job that did not involve stealing, drug pedaling or human trafficking.
I sell black tickets in the railway ticket counter. The government’s smart card worked like those airtel recharge vouchers and I just sat there by the machine from morning to night without much physical and intellectual activity except for the occasional flexing of my arms to hand the tickets to the customers, who paid 50ps over the tops to beat the queue. I made around two hundred and fifty bucks a day. All was well , till the railway police felt a sudden pinch in their pockets and decided to run amok. Run amok they did. They turned me upside down and took away every single coin from my pocket. Even the ones that I hid in the secret compartment. Filthy buggers.
The misery was about to end though. Rather I was putting an end to it . I didn’t have parents so as to speak. I didn’t have a child hood. I didn’t have what they called youth. In short, I didn’t have a life. I just existed like those stones which lie on the road just to be kicked around by children. Even those pebbles brought about a smile across a few faces. I would gladly swap my life with just about anyone. Even with the goddamned neighbor of mine who was just about useless as I was , but lived on shamelessly with a smile. Family, joy, happiness and money. These four words have been more or less wiped from the lexicon of my life.I stood there in the railway station along with the countless other passengers. I waited for the train to arrive, to take me to some random place where I would live the rest of my last day without causing a hubbub. The world would definitely not miss me .I doubt if my wife would miss me too .I wouldn’t miss them too much either. The train arrived blowing its horn . It was not too crowded and I moved from compartment to compartment hoping to the one where I could at least get a seat. It was my last journey after all. I found a compartment which just had one guy sitting all alone by the window listening to the wind whistle in his ear . I took a seat opposite to him with the hope of establishing a conversation if the journey gets too boring. His hair had a striking resemblance to mine, only a little greyer . His face was slightly wrinkled and his shirt was stained with blood.
“I was waiting for you. What took you so long? “ he said.
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I wanted to ask him “Who the fuck are you?” , in the nicest way possible. It would not be very smart to offend blood stained people.I did a “ Who me? “ gesture and popped out those words too.
“Yes.Who else? It has been one boring journey,ain’t it? “ .
“Boring journey? “ , I asked unsure of how long he has been sitting on that goddamned train. It had just been running for the six minutes. The stop I got on was the second one.
“You know. Life in general . Isn’t it one sick journey? ” . Welcome aboard Krish express, in which any one remotely associated with me will experience the feeling of boredom. I still couldn’t get the part where he was waiting for me to give me some random bull shit on life and the journey.
“ I couldn’t agree more . Do you have a cigarette on you, by any chance ? “ . I was a compulsive smoker and identifying fellow smokers was easy. The black ring of tar around his lips was a giveaway. He checked every possible pocket and came out with nothing.
“ If only there was a rewind button. Something that could take us to the past and undo certain things ” . I wasn’t quite sure to which point I would rewind. It had been miserable from the outset. He was striking the wrong chord with me and with precision.
“Oh most certainly .” I wanted to keep the conversation short. He had an eerie thing about him ,this man.
“How about days when you were just married?”. Did they interest you much? ” . I wanted to tell him the truth. I really did want to, and stop him from taking random hits at my life. Memories that I wanted to forget and move on with my life. Whatever was left of it anyway. I didn’t reply anything.
“Maybe you didn’t try hard enough ” . His words were piercing me. Every passing minute was difficult with this son of a bitch. I thought they didn’t allow people to live peacefully. Seems even dying can’t be peaceful. I really hoped that after life was not filled with nosy bastards like the one sitting in front of me today.
“Maybe , you always took the easier route. You know, the one that seemed easiest at that instant ” . His words were few , but they were as sharp as hell. My mind raced backwards and forwards across the sea of memories. Heck , nothing is private. Not even your unemployment and conjugal woes.
“Listen mister,I am screwed up or might have been screwed up. You have nothing to do with that. Just mind your business and piss off” . I just took out my life’s frustration on some random guy whom I barely knew. Not even ten minutes.
“You know, I might actually have . More than what think. Just give it a thought . You don’t have much too time I guess.” he said and got up to go closer to the exit.
“Sir, your lace “ he said.
“Take care of yours first “ came the curt reply. The train halted with a screech and he got off there and didn’t turn back at all.
I looked down and saw my laces . They were untied. As I bent down to tie them, I felt a sharp pain across my stomach. There was a blood stain on my shirt.
