The last conversation

I woke up to a really drunk sky that day. It was looking like those doped chimpanzees that they show in scarey science fiction movies where the doctor accidentally lets a mutated 8 feet animal loose. Loose enough to kill the scientist first. Mad enough to decimate everyone within 100 miles of its reach later. It was fitting that the last image I will have of the beautiful morning blue sky is that of darkness . It seemed to reflect the pain and suffering I have been through over these last few months .Five months to be precise. My wife was sleeping happily in her bed like she always does, innocently oblivious to the problems that was wide awake between the two of us. The woes were far and few initially, but it has become more of a tangible structure now . One that requires immense effort to be broken down. Both me  and my wife could hardly afford such time, for time was a precious commodity that could only be wasted on useless melodramatic TV serials and cricket matches. I didn’t want to disturb her , I got up brushed my teeth and performed the other mundane activities without making much of a clutter in the house. The previous night had been peaceful. We didn’t fight and it was that I wanted her to remember me with.  Not the perpetually angry, useless son of a bitch husband who could do nothing but scream on top of his lungs. Thankfully, we didn’t have kids. Kids just create ruckus and make the house a living nightmare.Yes, they are cute, sweet and their cheeks are pullable, but when they grow, they become mean. Mean with a capital M. Mean machines and monsters who become a by product of the environment they are brought up in. Given that me and my wife shared a rapport that would put David and Goliath to shame, we decided that we will put aside and I am quoting her now ” Complicated  and unnecessary things such as sex ” .  I am an educated man and I have been patrolling the streets of Chennai , thanks to the education scene which makes even 95 percentagers look like seals. In such a brutal world , what will become of a 45 percentager? Eight years of unemployment of course. After eight years five months and three days I landed a job that did not involve stealing, drug pedaling or human trafficking.

I sell black tickets in the railway ticket counter. The government’s smart card worked like those airtel recharge vouchers and I just sat there by the machine from morning to night without much physical and intellectual activity except for the occasional flexing of my arms to hand the tickets to the customers, who paid 50ps over the tops to beat the queue. I made around two hundred and fifty bucks a day. All was well , till the railway police felt a sudden pinch in their pockets and decided to run amok. Run amok they did. They turned me upside down and took away every single coin from my pocket. Even the ones that I hid in the secret compartment. Filthy buggers.

The misery was about to end though. Rather I was putting an end to it . I didn’t have parents so as to speak. I didn’t have a child hood. I didn’t have what they called youth. In short, I didn’t have a life. I just existed like those stones which lie on the road  just to be kicked around by children. Even those pebbles brought about a smile across a few faces. I would gladly swap my life with just about anyone. Even with the goddamned neighbor of mine who was just about useless as I was , but lived on shamelessly with a smile. Family, joy, happiness and money. These four words have been more or less wiped from the lexicon of my life.I stood there in the railway station along with the countless other passengers. I waited for the train to arrive, to take me to some random place where I would live the rest of my last day without causing a hubbub.  The world would definitely not miss me .I doubt if my wife would miss me too .I wouldn’t miss them too much either. The train arrived blowing its horn . It was not too crowded and I moved from compartment to compartment hoping to the one where I could at least get a seat. It was my last journey after all. I found a compartment which just had one guy sitting all alone by the window listening to the wind whistle in his ear . I took a seat opposite to him with the hope of establishing a conversation if the journey gets too boring. His hair had a striking resemblance to mine, only a little greyer . His face was slightly wrinkled and his shirt was stained with blood.

“I was waiting for you. What took you so long? “  he said.

——————————————————————————————————————————————-

I wanted to ask him “Who the fuck are you?” ,  in the nicest way possible. It would not be very smart to offend blood stained people.I did a “ Who me? “  gesture and popped out those words too.

“Yes.Who else? It has been one boring journey,ain’t it? “  .

“Boring journey? “  , I asked unsure of how long he has been sitting on that goddamned train. It had just been running for the six minutes. The stop I got on was the second one.

“You know. Life in general . Isn’t it one sick journey? ” . Welcome aboard Krish express, in which any one remotely associated with me will experience the feeling of boredom. I still couldn’t get the part where he was waiting for me to give me some random bull shit on life and the journey.

“ I couldn’t agree more . Do you have a cigarette on you, by any chance ? “  . I was a compulsive smoker and identifying fellow smokers was easy. The black ring of tar around his lips was a giveaway. He checked every possible pocket and came out with nothing.

“ If only there was a rewind button. Something that could take us to the past and undo certain things ” . I wasn’t quite sure to which point I would rewind. It had been miserable from the outset. He was striking the wrong chord with me and with precision.

“Oh most certainly .”  I wanted to keep the conversation short. He had an eerie thing about him ,this man.

“How about days when you were just married?”. Did they interest you much? ” . I wanted to tell him the truth. I really did want to, and stop him from taking random hits at my life. Memories that I wanted to forget and move on with my life. Whatever was left of it anyway. I didn’t reply anything.

“Maybe you didn’t try hard enough ” . His words were piercing me. Every passing minute was difficult with this son of a bitch.   I thought they didn’t allow people to live peacefully. Seems even dying can’t be peaceful. I really hoped that after life was not filled with nosy bastards like the one sitting in front of me today.

“Maybe , you always took the easier route. You know, the one that seemed easiest at that instant ” . His words were few , but they were as sharp as hell.  My mind raced backwards and forwards across the sea of memories. Heck , nothing is private. Not even your unemployment and conjugal woes.

“Listen mister,I am screwed up or might have been screwed up. You have nothing to do with that. Just mind your business and piss off” . I just took out my life’s frustration on some random guy whom I barely knew. Not even ten minutes.

“You know, I might actually have . More than what think. Just give it a thought . You don’t have much  too time I guess.”  he said and got up to go closer to the exit.

“Sir, your lace “  he said.

“Take care of yours first “  came the curt reply. The train halted with a screech and he got off there and didn’t turn back at  all.

I looked down and saw my laces . They were untied. As I bent down to tie them, I felt a sharp pain across my stomach. There was a blood stain on my shirt.

The King’s Prophecy

“ Eight days after a full moon day, when the Gods celebrate the birth of one of their own , you shall meet a worthy foe. In Him , you will see your failures and your wrong doings . To Him , you shall surrender and bend down – out of respect and  fear. Fear that he will vanquish you . He will be a force so powerful that he can conquer a thousand elephants. And you shall be reduced to mere dust – a fragment of your existence .” 

There were not many things that befuddled me. Did I tell you who I am ?  I am the great warrior – the conqueror of conquerors , the king of kings . A prophecy will lead to my downfall ?  Macbeth may have fallen to the clairvoyance of witches , but not all kings are Macbeths and not all prophecies will come true. “Sire, Kamsa the King was slayed too. A prophecy came to life ” . I used to like my court adviser till that day.He was my eyes in places where my vision failed me. He was my ears around the empire where people badmouthed their own siblings . He dares to disrespect a king and allude his downfall?  Put the bastard behind bars. I was not a tyrant though , not by any stretch of imagination .

The funny thing about all these prophecies are, you either believe it or you don’t. However if you are the one, the prophecy is about, restless nights will certainly ensue. It’s been almost a year since he had spoken those words. It had been buried deep within my mind, behind my memories , behind some embarrassing incidents that no one in his right mind will speak of. Over the last 336 days, I slayed them all , like how a butcher does. I did not spare anyone in my vicinity – I killed them all . The Danish , the Spainards , the  Mughals and even the lazy Maharaja of Krishnapur who can’t even kill a hen for lunch , let alone kill an emperor .Except for the white haired bastard who evaded me every time I tried to conquer him .Was he the one, the prophecy was talking about?  Every full moon day, I sacrificed a goat to the temple as the priest had asked me to. It would give me a longer life , he said. Perhaps it was the goat’s blood that was making me live in spite of the opium that has filled my lungs since childhood.

The old man had predicted that if I live past the said day, I would live on for one hundred years. The entire world would be at my feet and I would be worshiped like how a God should be worshiped. Every fortnight,  the entire empire gathered.Children, dying men, women, whores, witches got together at the field to witness massacre. Yes, you saw it correct. Murder. My thirst for blood was not as much as Aurangazeb’s , but I had my own system in place to punish the scoundrels and traitors.  Thirty two handpicked prisoners played chess for me, while I called shots sitting atop my well protected terrace. The surviving players walked away free . Free to live , only to be summoned fifteen days later for another game.  Fifteen days had passed since the last game and today  the entire empire would come together. The coincidence was far too obvious to ignore.  The breakfast arrived in my bed . Before I put my lips to the food, three people taste it. Just to make sure, it is not poisoned. A man who lives in fear of death dies a thousand times and today, just for today I was a walking example to prove that. I summoned my cook and asked him to eat the food from my plate. “Maharaja. From yours?”. ” Yes.” As the food made its way through his throat,  he gasped for breath. With a horrified look on his face, he fell down to the floor clutching his throat , spitting out food. “I didn’t do it. I promise Maharaja. I did not. ” . And he died. I made my way to the prison cell where my adviser was housed. What is so special about today, Dhruva ? “Oh today is the eighth day after full moon in the month of Shravan – Lord Krishna’s birthday ”

                                                                                                                                      …………………………….. to be contd.

The god of thunder. Oh, what a blunder!

Its the 31st of May. Pirates of The carribean , Hangover 2 , Kungfu Panda have made their way to cinema halls near me.Given that Murphy has been using me as his prime example to elucidate his law ,  getting tickets for these movies were quite literally impossible. Through divine intervention in more than one way, Thor would be my destination for the evening. After shelling out 140 bucks, you expect a certain level of entertainment and Thor provides it. With high level talks between India and America for bi-lateral trade , etc. proceeding in the right direction , Thor provides this free kick to the rear side. Thor will be referred in future generations as the catalyst for the growing love between India and US. The first half seemed right out of Marvel comics , with its grandeur and setting. The second half of the movie looked like a stolen page from a bollywood flick sans the mindless running around trees .

Thor proclaimed as King by his father attempts to destroy  the race of scary looking red eyed icemen . His father gets quite angry and banishes Thor to the underworld ( earth) without his hammer  .As a story , Thor reminds us gently of  Mahabarata . However there is no saree pulling and dice games. Its just a scheming sibling kicking out his elder brother by hitting on his weakest spot .Think of it as yudhishtra outsmarting a Bheema with Bheema being the eldest son . Throughout the first half, Thor looks like he is straight out of the South Indian movies. He screams, he punches his fist and kicks out the bad guys. In short he is the Rajni Kanth of the heavens .  Thor , quite literally looking like a Greek God with his macho physique gets help from the ladies. Natalie Portman and Kat dennings take turns to brush shoulders with Thor.Thor finds himself woefully out of place . He hogs like a wild boar and has the traffic sense of a black cat, which lends comic relief to the movie.

Second half is a cocktail of scenes from Indian movies.

Scene 1 :

Our hero’s friends come down from Thor’s land to take their King back . There is a metallic beast ( from ‘Robot’ or ‘Endhiran’) loose . What does our hero do? He jumps and applies Karan Johar’s Senti law number 1 : When there is a 20 feet beast killing every one in sight, all you have to do is go near and talk to him . Tell him “  You don’t have to do this ” and ” I am sorry .” . The beast will wag its metallic tail just like a dog does at the sight of biscuits.

Scene 2 :

Hero wants to go back and he is scared that the relation might not work out. Heck, it is long distance relationship . Explains to her that he is just a few galaxies away. Heroine turns into Indiana Jones and treasure hunts inside Hero’s lips. Ultimately comes out with a few tears.

Scene 3 :

Hero goes back to his home ground and the dying father gives him his power back. He does a “I – am – back – bitch ” maneuver stylishly knocking away ice villains and locks eyes with his brother. Camera stays still for a few seconds to make the viewers understand the gravity of the situation .Unfortunately the gateway to earth is broken in the battle. Thor almost kills his brother when Karan Johar’s second senti law comes into action : If you are the hero and when there is a sibling who is about to die, save him. Particularly when he just attempted to kill you 20 minutes back .   However Thor forgot the corallary to the above law which states ” If you are the villain and if the hero saves you from death , make sure you try to kill him once more . Just to prove a point! ” .

Scene 4 :

Both the brothers are hanging on for dear life .The villain is holding on to hero’s foot. It is within that space of few minutes that he realizes he had been wrong all through his life. What does he do? Ofcourse let go and die.

Scene 5 :

Thor becomes king. Hero is happy. Hero’s parents are happy. Yet there is something missing.  He goes to the broken gateway. Asks the gatekeeper ” Is she there ? What is she doing ” .  Camera goes few billion miles downstairs. She picks up her Hubble telescope to see Thor and they draw curtains leaving it wide open for Thor 2 . How Thor develops ‘Skype for Heavens ” to video call his love.

 

p.s. The closest thing the movie got to POTC was that Thor’s dad had an eye patch . And how can i forget pronouncing Thorr with a few extra R’s.That Pirate feel!

‘Royal’ ly massacred

Mumbai india had their colonoscopy performed by the rather enthused Rajasthan Royal clan. Opting to bat on a not so mysterious track, Sachin Tendulkar survived an absolute plumb lbw shout before struggling in one of his less fluent innings. Ofcourse Mumbai boast of  people like Kieron Pollard in their ranks, whom they use only in the name sheet. They have kept the big giant west Indian in Fixed deposit in Kumbakkonam Farmer’s bank and he looks worse than a rusted piece of metal with his club. Yes, he can hit. But Mumbai Indians are keen on restricting him to play station and video games alone. Which brings us to the second question of the day – If symonds is not batting nor bowling? Why is he playing? If the team management were of view Bhajji would get motivated, they have surely got it wrong .He got absolutely clobbered by Watson and ended with such a tiny face that he would have given the Smurfs some tough competition! Oh btw, Rohit Sharma was pretty good in his knock! Finally some responsibility taken up by the wasteful right hander!

Malinga’s slingas were hardly on target and he got taken apart by Mr.Watson . Watson was looking like a character taken out from Gladiator and sent into this time machine fast forwarded by few centuries to annihilate the Mumbai Indians. Annihilate he did. Turbanator was sent for three boundaries on the trot, Malinga couldnt’ stop smiling and Gavaskar started screaming more and more into the mic as the Mumbai Indians slipped towards another sorry defeat. Warne will take this farewell gift- he didn’t have to bat!  Should punjab beat DC and KKR beat mumbai ,  the IPL chapter will close at Wankhade after having promised so much.

Oh btw, I didnt’ see Nita Ambani today. Was she even there? And just a point , do MI always lose when Kieron Pollard misfields?!

This new year…

If god was part of the Internet revolution , his gmail account would be flooding every December 31st . Along with the days when India plays test cricket , children give their examinations and politicians suffer CBI raids , new years’ top the chart with atleast a billion or more prayers . I obviously don’t  want to imagine his facebook account of Gods which would have notifications such  as

” Ashwin has donated 100 coconuts ” – Accept or Decline . or probably

” Nitya has sung 21 songs in praise of you”  Grant her wish ?

” Atul has sent RSVP for the event ” Class XII board Exams  – Attending : Yes No Maybe?  .

 

New year resolutions are next on the list.It is by far the biggest farce that happens in the world . However you have to give the lads credit for trying . Of course new year resolutions such as ” I am going to fart lesser ” can do considerable help to the entire society , but hey there are things that are beyond our control right?  Some of the implicit reactions after hearing to new year resolutions…

 

1. ” I am going to Quit smoking ” – an innocent smoker blowing away Goldflake after Goldflake on Dec 31st.

” Cough, Cough. I wish so “  – the rabid dog next to the tea shop.

 

2. ” I am going to do study daily “   -  a Xth standard kid

” Its been ages since I ‘ve been felt “  – NCERT class  X Science text book.

” Polygamy sucks ” – Cosmopolitan magazine lying in the secret compartment.

 

3. I am going to take bath regularly – A Gujju who stinks ( the who stinks part being redundant)

” Yaaaaaaaaaay ” – Half of India

” January second is a national holiday ” – Government of India.

 

4.  I am going to make more movies – Ram Gopal Verma

” How I wish 2012 happened sooner “  – the usher at the theater.

” Oh my god. Oh My God . Oh My God ” - Jennifer Anniston after waking up from the nightmare , where she sees the resolution.

 

Happy new year btw.

The Boxing Day

” Australia are back and howdy ” – an avid Australian fan after Day 5, third Ashes test vs England , 2010

” Australia are back already! “ – the same fan after Lunch , Day 1 with slight hint of sarcasm  , fourth test Ashes vs England 2010.

Oh! What remarkable difference twelve days  can make. After literally bludgeoning England to the corner in the second test, the Aussies find themselves in the same corner , four days early.Maybe , they don’t see Tom and Jerry. A cornered mice is dangerous. Even more dangerous on a swinging track. Day 1 lost . The Ashes about to be lost too. The English bowlers seemed charged up and gunho , probably due to their  WAG’s . Aussies on the other hand were caught at the corridor of uncertainty  , and were looking chickens that were going to be slaughtered . They were edgy and intent on giving catch practice to the slip cordon. Prior’s christmas carols for a lot of catches came to life as the Aussies fell like 10 pints . Each following the other to the pavilion with that typical Russel Peters style ‘fuckface’ . Brad Haddin even did a school kid playing street cricket, refusing to budge after nicking one to first slip . You could almost hear his  ” Dude. Thats’ cheating. I wasn’t ready ” .

England came out to bat and punished Australia BDSM style. They tied them up , whopped their sorry asses till ponting decided to bring in Steve Smith , aka Warne’s cheap mimicry – like those 200 rupee Jerseys’ you get. They look the same. But you know your’s is a duplicate when Rooney is spelt as LOONEY .  Ponting’s call for tight line was turned down with disdain as Smith was intent on extracting bounce out of the MCG  wicket . He was pulled, cut and severed brutally as England took a first innings lead of 56 runs in response to a Australia’s 98.

One can only hope that Haddin, Watson and Hussey know a few jokes to keep Ponting entertained.. Its’ going to be one long day out there tomorrow.

Of swing and early shower!

” Football…Bloody Hell ” – Sir Alex Ferguson , after Manchester United’s last minute winner against Bayern Munich , 1999 Uefa Champions league finals.

” Cricket ah. vada poche ” -  Suresh Raina after watching a vadivelu comedy track and also after an early shower , India vs South africa , 2010.

Suresh Raina’s childlike innocence and face is unquestionably cute( not trying to sound gay here) , but that doesnt’ mean he gets to jump around with his bat. The South African pacers made an absolute joke out of him on both counts in the first test at Centurion and would have made it three times lucky had test matches had three innings. Suresh Raina’s dance of death can somewhat be likened to a peacocks’ dance of joy, except for the attracting the female part. Four seasons ago , Raina’s dreaded dance got him back home , behind the TV set for a really really long holiday(at his native place) . The rest of the team joined him of course , a few weeks later.

On the brighter side, Raina’s wicket bought much needed stability to the Indian side on both occasions , and Dhoni in his usual cherubic smile and “I will embarass manmohan singh ” tone was quoted saying in the South African newspapers as :

” A hint of swing and some bounce , Raina creates a salt water puddle in the middle . Makes it really easy to bat on for our batters “

Suresh Raina with obvious disappointment in his face walked back to the pavilion , only to find the single shower in the Indian dressing room occupied by VVS Laxman , who bet him same spot, twice.

Suresh Raina is a player who epitomizes the Indian Cricket team on an away tour :  ” Tigers at home, Pussy(s) (cats)  abroad ” . Ofcourse we do not consider Sri Lanka in this list as they play the Indian team as much as frequently as a badly designed urinal bladder on a winter morning wanting to pee. Eight tests down , Suresh Raina’s test career ‘s prologue and epilogue seem scripted. The epilogue however , even to a blind man will not look like an eulogy. However , a Indian world cup team without Raina is as unimaginable as the millions in A. Raja’s house. Just not Imaginable.

The future for Raina will be safe ….As long as he plays for CSK and Dhoni continues to captain the Indian side Chennai Super Kings.

 

 

Lucky number 247

After almost a year of agonizing wait , Bangladesh finally did it . They won an international game. The team which saw a plenitude of changes , and captains finally outdid England in their home soil .Sandwiched between the football world cup , the game wasn’t’ viewed by many ,but it did question England’s credentials as world beaters. After a laudable one year , the three lions were tamed by a spirited Bangladeshi side. Masharafe Mortaza grabbed the man of the match award with a lively 10 over spell. Johannathan Trott was the lone warrior who waged a battle , and took it down to the wire .

Even eternal optimists and believers in Bangladeshi cricket , wouldn’t’ have predicted this one coming. Leave alone Paul the octopus , Mani the parakeet. 24 games without the taste of victory , they had been dished out some harsh results of late . Masharafe Mortaza captained his side to a hard fought victory just when the silver lining was fading away slowly. The most remarkable aspect about this victory was that Bangladesh were without their front line players and Ashraful just landed 14 hours prior to the toss. England decided to field first as Bangladesh struggled to reach 237.Kayes and Islam made commendable contributions , but Bangladesh failed to forge any meaningful partnership. They stuttered their way to the 230′s before running out of overs.237 was a  gettable total under any circumstances , particularly given the fact that the Bangladeshi bowling attack didn’t’ boast of Dale Steyns and Mitchell Johnson’s .

What unfurled before us was a determined and disciplined display by the Bangladeshi players. Andrew Strauss went out after a steady stand with Kiesewetter , who soon followed his captain . Bangladesh suddenly smelt some thing they hadn’t’ for more than half a year . They were all over the place after that , piling the pressure on the English batsmen . As soon as Eoin Morgan was headed towards the pavilion , Bangladesh knew they had a chance . The bowling seemed more purposeful and fielding a lot more tidier . England needed 70 runs with 4 wickets in hand and Bristol was making itself ready for a hero. Stuard Broad stuck to his crease along with Trott , giving England a glimmer of hope . Trott displayed immense courage and played with ease , unfazed by the demands of the situation . The last over , saw England need 10 runs with a wicket left . The first couple of balls saw two runs each and with 6 to get off 4 balls with Trott on strike, England fancied it. But, Shaiful Islam orchestrated a dramatic third ball to nip off England’s chances and deliver with it a much needed win for Bangladesh.

Anerudh Balaji

The battle for Ashes

Historical accounts associate battles with weird names. The Boar war, The war of Roses are incongruous enough, but nowhere close to ‘Ashes’ , which gets its name from a satirical obituary published in an English daily after a routine bashing handed out to England by Australia. The trophy may not be even half as glamorous as the IPL ‘s diamond studded one, but the prestige associated with the Ashes ‘urn’ is something which the multi millions can never buy. Nature has its way of putting people in place and the English, who often pride themselves on being the founders of cricket , have hardly been a force to reckon with in the modern era. England started off in a thumping fashion defeating Australia 8 consecutive times to conquer the Ashes in the 1880’s. The fight for supremacy heightened every subsequent tournament , and honours were more or less even, till the late 1980’s.Since 1989 , the Ashes had been more of a funeral for England, with Australia moving from strength to strength and traumatizing England consecutively for 16 years. Alan Border, Mark Taylor, Steve Waugh captained the indomitable, all conquering Aussies during the tenure which saw them reach the pinnacle of their form. The key to Australia’s success had been their stability, which is underlined by the usage of only two wicket keeping batsmen, ‘Gilly’ and ‘Healey’. If the Waugh’s and Warne weren’t’ enough the Aussie team boasted of the likes of Hayden , Langer, Martyn and the ever dependable Glen Mcgrath.

The 2004-2005 season saw England clambering up the ICC charts and 2005 signaled England’s arrival in the modern day of cricket. In a gripping series, which saw Australia wallop England in the first test and England forging a remarkable comeback , the Ashes went back to where it started. The world woke up from its slumber and England was finally given some recognition they were due. The next year , saw normal services being restored with Australia completing a humiliating white wash to compound England’s’ off field woes.  Their progress has been slow since then, in a path that was littered with politics, failures and retirements. But with the dawn of 2009, English cricket had a new lease of life. The 2009-2010 Ashes were recovered by the English men, defeating Australia 2-1, and 2010 saw them lift the ICC T20 trophy.

The Ashes over the years has given birth to many memorable moments. Shane Warne’s ball of the century to Mike Gatting, Steve and Mark’s depredation of the English attack, Kevin Pietersen’s dismantling of Brett Lee, Ian Botham’s menacing batting and more recently Monty Panesar and James Anderson surviving 11 overs of Australian onslaught. Michael Vaughan may not have been a legendary English batsman, but he is part of the English folklore for regaining the lost Ashes.  Even the generally woeful Mark Ramprakash rose to the occasion often, scoring 933 runs at 42.40. A luminous enhancement compared to his 27.32 on non-Ashes days.

The 2010-11 Ashes has already started receiving its customary hype from the media. Whatever maybe the outcome, cricket’s oldest rivalry shall continue to entertain us.

As published on cricketpulse.com at at http://www.cricketpulse.com/Blogger/View.asp?ArticleId=604&CatId=1

They are actually fighting for this!

Raavan – The Review

In tinsel town, one of the more relevant pithy is “Expectation is a double edged sword”. At the end of the day , Raavan might be facing the sharper edges from the audience, but no one can deny the class which the movie oozes. Mani Ratnam bears the brunt of being one of India’s most gifted directors. The expectations  seem to have burdened him in  Madras Talkies’  “Raavan”.

The screen opens with Abhishek Bachchan standing atop of a mountain ,  kicking a small stone that surges downward into a river. Santosh Sivan announces his arrival in style. What follows is a normal kidnapping plot , with a Mani Ratnam touch and a Ramayana essence to it. Beera(Abhishek Bachchan) , a reckless outlaw according to the cops and a Robinhood for villagers abducts Raagini (Aishwarya Rai Bachchan) , to avenge the killing of his sister(Priyamani). Beera stunned by the fact that Raagini doesn’t fear death , spares her and slowly falls in love with her. What ensues is Dev’s(Vikram) chase to secure Raagini from the hands of Beera with the help of forest guard Sanjeevani (Govinda) and the cops . Does Raam slay Raavan? Or is there an audacious twist to it ? ,forms the rest of the storyline.

The screenplay seems to have dampened along with the locales where the movie has been shot. There are instances when there is absolute chaos and a lack of definitive presentation. Mani Ratnam who has given has legendary movies like ‘Nayagan’ , ‘Anjali ‘ seems to have missed the trick with Raavan. Or probably the fact that he is tampering with a  tale that is a mythology must have made him conscious of his limits. Abhishek Bachchan’s portrayal of Beera, a complicated character who is calculative yet naïve is good, but could have been better. Aishwarya Rai Bachchan as Raagini is back to what she does best. Acting. In a wonderful ,bedraggled portrayal Aishwarya Rai excels in every scene. Emotions have been brought out brilliantly and she overshadows her better-half on occasions. The role is challenging enough to be done once , and to have done it twice (in Raavaan) speaks volumes of her tenacity to perform. Vikram as Dev is clinical in his first major hindi movie ,but needs to work on his accent. Govinda as Sanjeevani is apt. After a lot of woeful performances , he can be proud of this one. Priyamani echoes ‘Paruthiveeran’ all over. In a strikingly similar finish to her role, Priyamani  would have had a cakewalk.

Raavan’s backbone is its stunning visuals. Shot in the exotic locales of Kerala , Santosh Sivan , has matched his “ Before the Rains “ with one during the rains. He has delineated ’ Raavan’ frame by frame  and the camera angles on occasions leave the viewers spell bound. A.R.Rahman’s music, which has been so pivotal in earlier Mani movies continues to stun the audience. His background score is brilliant, especially in the climax sequence where he has unleashed a magical number ‘ Jaa re ‘ .

Mani Ratnam on occasions makes special effort to imply the Ramayana analogy, particularly with Nikhil Dwivedi(Lakshman?) threatening Priyamani that he will chop her nose off , and Govinda jumping around the trees in his introduction, the 14 day plot and so on. Some of these  allusions were incongruous to say the least.

On the whole, deeming Raavan a bad movie will be blasphemous . It will definitely evoke mixed reactions. Mani’s Raavan is by no means a trend setter or a cult classic, but will definitely make you sit up and take notice.

Rating : 2.5 / 5