Real madrid and the off-season sale

For those who know tamil,”ADI THALLUPADI” or “ADI-month SALE” .sums up what’s in store from madrid in the upcoming months.Stocked with goods: old,new,worn,torn and much more, Real madrid have brought in new display products (a.k.a. Kaka and CR9) to replace the old one.Sounds like their expiry date is nearing.But no one really expected Klass Jan Huntelaar to bite dust so early…What seemed like a fart-station(madrid,farting money),will now be plugged,probably will be suffering from constipation for a while.But hey!! all for the good…

Showing stingy Italian mentality,apparently Mr.Galliani has contaced Perez hoping for a discount on Huntelaar.According to reports , he went all the way to madrid and hoped for a reimbursement and a 10 million pound off on huntelaar.(they actually want him for 10 mil pounds)Mr.galliani,CR9’s piece of ass will cost you the entire club,so forget getting Huntelaar’s services.

Real Madrid can actually make superb profits this transfer season.One,they can start an agency just outside the club which can take registration of interests for a player.

Probably they can even start an offer like ,BUY ONE DUTCH PLAYER,and get DRENTHE @ 15 % OFF..

The scroll @ real madrid website reads:

THE REAL SUMMER SALE :

DUTCH PLAYERS @ CHEAPEST RATE EVER

SPECIAL OFFER FOR RIBERY HOLDERS: SNEJIDER + VAN DER WAART AT 45 MILLION ONLY.

SALE THROUGHOUT SUMMER @ REAL MADRID….WATCH OUT FOR THIS SPACE!

Explains Galliani’s 10 million bid.

Huntelaar’s on his part must be feeling like a cheap whore with the treatment rendered to him.Seems like he has met the wrong people in the railway station, who are planning to ship him out to mumbai for some money.Little do they know,the beauty they are going to ship is a pro with the balls.

Galliani:Allright , you wont’ reduce your price eh?

Perez:Pay up 20 and he’s all yours.For 10 million pounds,probably i’lll let you kiss Cr9’s boot.

Galliani:(With a hindi movie villain look)..PEREZ,I’ll come and get him,from you right under your nose.CR9,kaka and everyone else and show who MILAN really are,ofcourse after 10 years.Let them get mature,coz we always have room for age (+ talent ofcourse!)

Perez  : Allright,get lost now.

So our Galliani comes back , dejected and makes Ambrosini the club captain…

Huntelaar...FOR SALE...10% OFF

A Real Prediction

My MY!

Dunno why so many posts on Madrid,but they seem to me like a topic with much more scope than Blondes.Probably humour sites will open up a new section for Madrid Jokes..Here is the scene for January 2010.

Scene in Madrid’s HQ :

Present : Perez,Ribery,Ronaldo(on crutches),Kaka,Higuain,Raul and other Madrid players

Perez:Ribery,you have been a disaster.All you were required to do was to serve clean water to Ronaldo ,Kaka and co.Look what you ‘ve done.Now Ronaldo is injured coz of you assole.I got a call from Aboomoslem Khorasan,a club in Iran.Half the Dutch contigent is there.Their wives will be the only ones showing their faces.Rest will be covered.

Ribery : Allright,get me out in May

Perez : Hone your water boy skills too.

Higuain becomes restless,since the world cup is approaching.He is giving serious thoughts about banging Maradonna’s daughter for a shot in the worldcup finals,when..

Perez : kaka,you clean the bench for a change,Higuain you ‘ve been good ,you are promoted.Now you shall start.Cristiano Ronaldo am sorry.All ribery’s fault.Guess you’ll have to wait for your chance.

Ronaldo : I can wink.Is that enough to play in the game??

Conversation ends.

In the meanwhile….All through the season,Hull city’sBenjani had been netting in goals.And surprise surprise..

January 14th 2010 ,

Real madrid bid 20 million pounds for Benjani.Hull,are all the more happy since they have never seen 20 million together in a suitcase.Perez sends a dog + 20 million for Benjani.A great deal claims the SPANISH PRESS.Poor madrid doesn’ spare even HULL!

January 20th 2010,

And its Higuain!!!!!HE Scoooooooooooooooooooooooooores…Agueros’ wife………………………………………..

He recieves the call for the argentian national team

220 V up my ass – The Michael Owen transfer saga

Blimley! The Anfield legend was reported to be in Carrington Avenue at Manchester for a medical.Well , when I first saw the news,220V went right my ass.Pretty strong reaction.Is it a master Stroke or a Disastrous one?Desperate times call for desperate measures they say.

The story that has unfolded has been nothing short of a rags to riches story , with Owen’s potential suitors being Hull city.Premier league football was the mantra according to them.Just when everything seemed to be bleak for the English Striker,along came a thursday evening,accompanied with the most unexpected of surprises.Manchester United calling Michael Owen to secure his services.

These events were probably the consuequences ofManchester united’s reported top target Karim Benzema being lapped up by the free spending Spanish Giants Real Madrid.Papers called it a bitter blow,and naturally a list of high profile strikers were linked with manutd ,starting from the confedrations cup King Luis Fabiano to Jose Mourinho’s ass-saver Zlatan .Sir Alex Ferguson has known to be a keen admirer of Owen,and surprise surprise he was called forth!

Being a free agent,manutd have nothing to loose except a few quid.Ofcourse,the statement holds true given United continue to press in the transfer market.With atleast 70 million pounds left in their wallets,surely no player is impossible to get.What United stand to gain through Owen is the experience of a proven goal scorer in the premier league .Being no stranger to the European circuit , Owen can prove to be quite a handful for defenders , whether from the bench or from the start.And ofcourse he will be willing to play a second fiddle to Berbatov and Rooney.With games aplenty for the english champions,Owen will have loads of chances to prove his mettle. The only constraint to the above lines being his injury record.More known for his injuries than his goals in recent times , Owen has struggled to keep himself fit.But with an excellent medical team and with lesser pressure to handle (than at newcastle) , he can turn to be a good signing.With a pay-as-you-play deal in place,united have more or less increased his appetite.Interestingly,if the  6(homegrown)+5 rule is invoked,United have enough in their ammunition to be a side with substance.If it backfires,Owen will be joining Owen Hargreaves in the treatment room.

What this presents before Owen is the golden chance to thump few across the goal and get noticed by Fabio Capello.More importantly he will be playing with Rooney,probably the first name in the England Team sheet.The lure of OldTrafford ,and the sight of Champions league,must have egged him on.AndWhat remains to be seen is how injury free he remains through the season , and if his hunger for goals and competition is still huge.

As i write this,the Anfield legend is completing his medical with Manchester united.A calculated gamble,but a shocking one.The impact of the shock however,remains to be seen!

Michael Owen