Real madrid and the off-season sale

For those who know tamil,”ADI THALLUPADI” or “ADI-month SALE” .sums up what’s in store from madrid in the upcoming months.Stocked with goods: old,new,worn,torn and much more, Real madrid have brought in new display products (a.k.a. Kaka and CR9) to replace the old one.Sounds like their expiry date is nearing.But no one really expected Klass Jan Huntelaar to bite dust so early…What seemed like a fart-station(madrid,farting money),will now be plugged,probably will be suffering from constipation for a while.But hey!! all for the good…

Showing stingy Italian mentality,apparently Mr.Galliani has contaced Perez hoping for a discount on Huntelaar.According to reports , he went all the way to madrid and hoped for a reimbursement and a 10 million pound off on huntelaar.(they actually want him for 10 mil pounds)Mr.galliani,CR9’s piece of ass will cost you the entire club,so forget getting Huntelaar’s services.

Real Madrid can actually make superb profits this transfer season.One,they can start an agency just outside the club which can take registration of interests for a player.

Probably they can even start an offer like ,BUY ONE DUTCH PLAYER,and get DRENTHE @ 15 % OFF..

The scroll @ real madrid website reads:

THE REAL SUMMER SALE :

DUTCH PLAYERS @ CHEAPEST RATE EVER

SPECIAL OFFER FOR RIBERY HOLDERS: SNEJIDER + VAN DER WAART AT 45 MILLION ONLY.

SALE THROUGHOUT SUMMER @ REAL MADRID….WATCH OUT FOR THIS SPACE!

Explains Galliani’s 10 million bid.

Huntelaar’s on his part must be feeling like a cheap whore with the treatment rendered to him.Seems like he has met the wrong people in the railway station, who are planning to ship him out to mumbai for some money.Little do they know,the beauty they are going to ship is a pro with the balls.

Galliani:Allright , you wont’ reduce your price eh?

Perez:Pay up 20 and he’s all yours.For 10 million pounds,probably i’lll let you kiss Cr9’s boot.

Galliani:(With a hindi movie villain look)..PEREZ,I’ll come and get him,from you right under your nose.CR9,kaka and everyone else and show who MILAN really are,ofcourse after 10 years.Let them get mature,coz we always have room for age (+ talent ofcourse!)

Perez  : Allright,get lost now.

So our Galliani comes back , dejected and makes Ambrosini the club captain…

Huntelaar...FOR SALE...10% OFF

A Real Prediction

My MY!

Dunno why so many posts on Madrid,but they seem to me like a topic with much more scope than Blondes.Probably humour sites will open up a new section for Madrid Jokes..Here is the scene for January 2010.

Scene in Madrid’s HQ :

Present : Perez,Ribery,Ronaldo(on crutches),Kaka,Higuain,Raul and other Madrid players

Perez:Ribery,you have been a disaster.All you were required to do was to serve clean water to Ronaldo ,Kaka and co.Look what you ‘ve done.Now Ronaldo is injured coz of you assole.I got a call from Aboomoslem Khorasan,a club in Iran.Half the Dutch contigent is there.Their wives will be the only ones showing their faces.Rest will be covered.

Ribery : Allright,get me out in May

Perez : Hone your water boy skills too.

Higuain becomes restless,since the world cup is approaching.He is giving serious thoughts about banging Maradonna’s daughter for a shot in the worldcup finals,when..

Perez : kaka,you clean the bench for a change,Higuain you ‘ve been good ,you are promoted.Now you shall start.Cristiano Ronaldo am sorry.All ribery’s fault.Guess you’ll have to wait for your chance.

Ronaldo : I can wink.Is that enough to play in the game??

Conversation ends.

In the meanwhile….All through the season,Hull city’sBenjani had been netting in goals.And surprise surprise..

January 14th 2010 ,

Real madrid bid 20 million pounds for Benjani.Hull,are all the more happy since they have never seen 20 million together in a suitcase.Perez sends a dog + 20 million for Benjani.A great deal claims the SPANISH PRESS.Poor madrid doesn’ spare even HULL!

January 20th 2010,

And its Higuain!!!!!HE Scoooooooooooooooooooooooooores…Agueros’ wife………………………………………..

He recieves the call for the argentian national team

The “Real” Deal..Times of Recession

Where Rea-ly does Madrid go after all these inquisitions?Kaka,Ronaldo,Raul Albiol and the French Hitman Karim Benzema.Houseful seems to be the board outside the training grounds,but Perez claims Two more vacancies.Apparently disappointed that Valencia removed David Villa from the market , they had to ’settle’ for benzema.I sound like a casualty of choice of words.”Settling” for Benzema?Perez!!!Money in the sac,in the hole,and god knows where,Real Madrid have literally been pooping Euros and Pounds. A sample Bidding war :

AC Milan : 15 Million that will be that.

manchester united : 20 million

Arsenal : I want to buy benzema,but……..Adebayor should stay.(clearly popper)

Liverpool : We will buy only Spanish people,even for washing toilets.

Along comes Mr.Perez ,

Fuck you lot,35 million pounds and I take Benzema.

Ferguson resorted to M.Owen after the assault,Ac Milan yet to recover,Arsenal seems to have convinced Adebayor and Liverpool have added two CeltaVigo staff to their yard.True to their words.

The Dutch contigent seems to be bustling with energy about the latest acquisitions.If rumours are to be believed,Van Nistelrooy is planning to start a bar outside Real Madrid,with Drenthe being the Incharge.Snejider will mostly start learning to play golf(early age) and Van der waart will probably be keeping boots for the players.Huntelaar plans to open an old-age home.Really honourable

And the shocking news is Real Madrid want to spend 50 million for a water boy by the name ‘Franck Ribery”.He is so desperate impress Madrid,that he skipped training for bayern just to watch Ronaldo on the news channel.Oh yes,wearing a pink cap !And not to forget Xabi Alonso is part of the ambitious bench cleaning project. Just for the record,we are in recession.Real Madrid players surely have the knack of  adapting!

Perez definitely knows to get the best out of his players….

Recession times !